Chels For China

Why do I never learn...I feel like God has to teach me the same lessons over and over again...when will they finally stick?
Well, let me tell you about my Tuesday. I was feeling super discouraged, I heard from the guy with my car and he changed the terms of our agreement and basically I was looking at 2-3 more months without a car. Work was stressful...I'm working on a wedding that is now 3 weeks away, with a bride in Chicago and a groom in Ft. Worth...my Dad was in the ER and I was feeling very discouraged that it has been 2 weeks since I applied for the WR and I haven't heard anything back from them. It was not a great day, when I got home from work I went in my room, laid down, read a book and wanted to just wallow in self pity. I was doing a pretty good job of it too. At 7:00 on Tuesdays I am taking an evangelism class at Arden Road, last night I did not want to go...and I had determined not to...but at 650 I got up and headed out the door...I just felt that I really needed to go. Did I ever! A guy in my class said something that punched me right in the gut and slapped me across the face....basically he brought up that when we are discouraged we need to take our focus off of ourselves and put it back on God. Wow, how I needed those words. I had been focusing on myself and my problems all day and it felt terrible.
When I got home from class and realized that my roommate wasn't home (and thus LOST could not yet be watched) I decided I would walk over to the House of Prayer (this is a great ministry in Amarillo offering 24/7 prayer rooms). I spent the next hour and a half putting my focus back on God. I gave my Tuesday to Him.
And it somehow still amazes me how quickly God will work when we surrender things to him. While I was praying I got a text from the man with my car and he is going to honor our original agreement and I will have my car on Monday, thanks God. By the time I was at the HOP I had already talked to my Dad and found out that he was fine, but I still spent time praying for healing and believing that God can heal him without surgery...and then I did the hardest thing I've had to do in quite some time....I gave God the World Race...despite the months of prayer and the peace I felt about applying and doing this, I had began to doubt...the enemy was placing thoughts of unworthiness and mistakes from my past that will disqualify me...I had taken the WR away from God and was trying to push things myself...so through tears last night I gave it to God, I told him that I would be OK if this wasn't his will...and I told him honestly that those words were a work in progress...that I really want them to be true and I know that they will be but that letting go was hard....but I wanted him in control. It's crazy what chaos I can cause in just a few days of taking control from God...I look back and wonder how I got to this place in such a short amount of time.
So there it was the WR and my future hope laid at the feet of God...and I walked away...I didn't pick it back up and "help" him carry it...I simply said "here ya go" and walked away. And wouldn't you know that this morning a 9:15 I received an email that said there had been a problem with my WR account and it had been fixed, so my application had now been submitted and I could schedule a phone interview...
I love God and his way of saying "Hey, let it go. I am way better at this than you."
So keep praying...my interview is next Wednesday at 11:30am.

I will leave you now with the lyrics from the Tenth Avenue North song "Let It Go"

I've been holding on so tight

Look at these knuckles
They've gone white
I'm fighting for who I wanna be
I'm just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one to lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go.